So you have a global pitch … one that is worth more than the entire value of Australia [allegedly] … and you’ve been working like a mad person for weeks.

All you’ve been doing is pulling data together, getting ideas together, banging heads together … and finally everything is done, printed out and packed away – leaving you just to get on a plane to the US and pick up the business, acclaim and fame.

FUCK-UP FAIRY MOMENT …

Unfortunately you are heading to the land of the idiot – a land [also known as the USA] where you have to have a ’special kind of passport’ – one that has a magnetic strip so it will work with all their super-high-tech machinery. 

Even more unfortunately, you have a passport from 1874 … a time where passports were made of paper, not magnets … so when you turn up to the airport with your bags and US$100 million campaign winning idea, you are told that not only won’t they let you get into the country [because of your ancient documentation] they won’t even let you get onto the plane.

Goodbye $100 million … Goodbye USA … Goodbye Respect … Goodbye Career … Goodbye Life.